Dear Parents

This one is to you, the parents of World Racers. 

 I apologize in advance that this one got quite lengthy… 

 I went on my Race back in 2015. I knew it was going to be a great adventure, but I never expected this. I never expected my life to be such an adventure. One where I see Wonders of the World and beaches that make the top 10 lists. 

And while they are great… 

Those things don’t compare to the Jesus I have seen around the world. They don’t compare to being part of people coming to know Him. They don’t compare to the brokenness that is the world. They don’t compare to the kindness in a Muslim sister’s eyes. They don’t compare to the longing in the street kid’s soul. They don’t compare to the African worship services where they give Holy Spirit all the space He wants to show up. They don’t compare to someone hearing the Gospel for the first time. They don’t compare to the love we, The Racers, experienced. The freedom we’ve walked in. The community we are part of that the Bible talks about. The friendships we now have. The identity that we have learned as sons and daughters of a King who is a really, really good Father. It doesn’t compare to the friendship we have with Jesus and that we would go anywhere for Him. 

A lot of people ask: “how can I help my Racer come back home and transition well?” 

My answer is simply this: trust Him with your kid. Trust that He’s leading and guiding them. Trust when they tell you a plan that is different than what you expected. Trust that they have stretched a muscle this year and have wrestled out their relationship with the Lord. They have their convictions. They aren’t just following Him because it’s the way they were raised or the way they were taught. They aren’t just doing it because all of their friends are. They are following and obeying Him because they have tasted and seen that the He is so, so good. 

I’ve told my parents before that I know that I am safer being in the worst of the worst places in the will of God than I am being back in my small hometown out of His will. And I use the word safe very loosely, it doesn’t mean I am protected from harm and that nothing bad will ever happen to me. It means that He will take care of me in the good and the bad more than any earthly human can. And that hasn’t been easy. I’m sure a lot of people expect that the Race will just get the traveling bug out of our system. That we won’t be so antsy anymore once we’ve seen the world. 

And that’s true for some.  

And that’s not true for some. 

Parents, your kids have been on the journey of a lifetime but it’s not the only one they will ever be on. Because if I am being honest, the Race isn’t the journey, it’s just part of it. Their life wasn’t put on pause for this year. Their life didn’t end or begin with the Race. Their life isn’t beginning with coming back home. It’s already begun. They are just living it. 

And my encouragement is to let them keep living it. 

I know that I know that I know that we are called to honor our parents but first, we must be obedient to what the Lord is asking of us. We love your wisdom and perspective and we are beyond thankful for it. We welcome it. But trust that at the end of the day the Lord has got us. 

I know what you’re thinking… yea, yea, yea that’s all great and dandy but what do I actually do to help them when I see them in just a few days? 

Here are practicals: 

1. Ask them for a grocery list and get it ALL 
2. Ask them what they need— physically, emotionally and spiritually. What do I mean by that? Well, do they actually need a big ol’ party as soon as they arrive at their house or do they need a few days? Do they want a welcome party at the airport or just mom and dad? Do they want to go to church or sporting events or birthday parties the first weekend they are home or do they want to hideout? Etc. 
3. Be patient and give them space— halfway referring to the one above here, your racer probably doesn’t know what they need. They probably won’t know what they need for a little while. I personally wanted to see my closest friends and family when I got home but I also wanted a shower and to unpack my things. So my friends came over and I went upstairs and took a shower and unpacked my things when I needed a break from socializing and then came back down afterwards. Then I took over a week of seeing no one else while I tried to figure out what routine and life looked like back home. 
4. Don’t hassle them to hang out and spend time and answer every question and give every detail just because they’ve been gone for 9-11 months. Don’t try and make up for lost time. Like I said earlier, their life doesn’t start because they are home, it’s been going and they are just continuing. With that, don’t be afraid to ask questions. They will let you know if they don’t want to talk about it. 
5. Let them in on your life and all that’s happened the last 9-11 months with you. You’ve lived your life just like they have lived theirs and they want to know about it just as much as you want to know about theirs. 
6. Be okay with tears or no emotion at all— it’s going to be a hit or miss. I didn’t remember how to boil water but showed no emotion about it. I cried (a lot) on a family vacation at the beach and didn’t go out to dinner one night because the American culture of spending money made me so hurt and angry when we could be caring for orphans better. I wandered around like a zombie for a while and still do sometimes. When I go to buy dog food, I walk to the aisle, look at the food and look at the price, take a lap and then go back and put it in my cart all while I think about the street kids that don’t eat as well as my dog and he gets the cheap stuff. 
7. Be easy on yourself. The Race is something that isn’t fully understood unless you do it. Your racer has seen a lot, learned a lot, probably been broken over the lost of the world, learned how to have grit and push through those hard months where they wanted to come home and they have had a whole lot of fun while doing it all. Re entry is different for everyone. There’s no perfect way to help them transition. Let them lean into the Lord like they have learned how to do and you do the same. We appreciate your love and attempts to help us even if we don’t show it. Most things, we have to just do on our own. I go through a level of re entry every time I get home from the field and over the years I have learned I need a whole lot of sleep, alone time and fruits and vegetables. 

 I always explain my season of re-entry from CS Lewis and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The kids get back from Narnia and the last page of the book talks about how it just felt like a distant dream. That they could remember their time in Narnia if they tried hard enough but it wasn’t at the front of their mind. This is how I felt. Like I lived a whole lifetime and then all the sudden came back to America and it had flown by so fast that I couldn’t remember all of the details like I thought I would. It’s overwhelming and satisfying all at once. 

So, parents, thanks for supporting us in this little thing called life and for following our journeys as we do it. I hope and pray they encourage you to take a step of faith and be ready for the greatest adventure you could ever imagine. 

To you Gap T parents: thanks for trusting us to walk alongside and care for your kids this year. It has been the greatest gift of my life to know them and love them and see them become men and women who know their place in the Kingdom as Sons and Daughters. You’ve got some really good ones and I’m going to cry all week as we celebrate and say goodbye. They’re coming home!