Choices.
One of the things that I have learned over the last few years is that we all have them. That yes, we follow Jesus and sometimes the Lord tells us exactly where to go but that most times He lets us have the freedom to make whichever one we want. If we are going to do it for His glory, of course.
So, that’s what happened this past week.
My boss needed to know if I was going to commit to another year and take another squad. It sent me into quite the process of trying to sort it all out in my soul of what needed to happen.
I love my job.
I love the travel and all of that but I REALLY love seeing these 18-20 year olds grasp on to the Father’s love, christian community and sharing the Gospel around the world. I really love seeing the lightbulb moments where they switch from it being all about them to being all about Jesus and making His name known around the world. I really love when they see that honoring one another is better than the high school popular, not popular, gossip culture that they come from.
And even with all of that I have decided that I am not going to take another squad this next year.
It’s not been an easy decision. It has involved a lot more tears than I’ve probably ever cried in my life. It has required people seeing me in more ways than I ever wanted them to. It’s required a tough look in the mirror. It’s required some soul searching.
There is so much sadness knowing that this season will be wrapping up in the next few months. It’s been the best season of my life. The coolest job ever with some of the most world changing 18-20 year olds that I’ve had the privilege of knowing. It’s been the greatest getting to work with so many people that have become friends rather than simply co-workers.
There’s a lot to the decision but to sum it up: life is seasons and the season is changing. It very much felt like my choice and it’s not one of those “the Lord is telling me this and I HAVE to let go and it’s hard.” It’s one of those choices where I just know that it’s further up and further in. It’s from glory to glory. It’s me letting go of something so, so, so great in order to grab hold of something else that is going to be really, really good.
It’s so much sadness but also so much anticipation and excitement for whatever is coming next! Which, I maybe have an idea of what it’s going to look like but am so open to any ideas or leads that you may have that you think I might like.
I still have until the end of July with Adventures so I am in no way rushing out of it. I’ve got 2 more trips to the field in the coming months to finish well with Gap Z and I am going to live it up with them! It’s going to truly be a balance of planning for the future while staying right where my feet are currently planted. And I am certain there will be so many more blogs as I walk through this process and see God in new and different ways throughout it all.
