Both And

This past month I spent time on the field with Gap L in Romania. I got home on Wednesday and went to meet my nephew that was born while I was gone. This weekend I celebrated one of my favorite humans getting married. This morning, I had breakfast with some of the squad I squad led this last year because they are in the discipleship program that Adventures has and they just moved here last week. After that, I went to the office for Monday morning worship. 

There’s a song that rocks me every single time and a lot of people are over it because it’s played a million times in a day. “King of My Heart”. It talks all about how good God is and how He is never going to let us down. You should give it a listen. In true Adventures in Missions fashion, they sang it this morning in worship.

I weep and I wept. 

Every. Single. Time. 

Because I believe it with every fiber of my being. I believe that He is good. I believe that He gives good gifts. I believe that Good was the word He used to describe all that He created in Genesis because of the weight that it carries. Because He wants us to catch what it actually means. 

I have learned over the last month that God is a God of Both And. He isn’t a God of this OR that. He is a God of this AND that. He lets me have a squad of humans in Ukraine who I deeply, deeply love while also having family and friends near and far that I deeply, deeply love. He is letting me live in Georgia with a community of people in my life who notice when I’m away. Who welcome me home after a month in Romania. He lets me live near enough to my family where I can drive over for a quick visit to meet my nephew that was born while I was gone. 

Just because things are good and only getting better, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t hard. There have been moments when I am overwhelmed and real confused. Moments where I am completely exhausted and wondering if I am actually cut out for this life He is letting me live. My trip to see my family was one that was full of jet lag and disengagement because of the amount of tired that I was. It was one of frustration knowing that I wasn’t fully engaged after not seeing my family for over a month. It has been the same over the last few days as I have tried to get my feet on the ground as I settle into life here in Georgia and figure out what in the world it is supposed to look like. 

It is still good and I am speechless and weepy at what that is coming to mean in my life. It’s one of those seasons where I have absolute confidence that I am right where I am supposed to be and that’s what makes it good. Maybe it’s a little rocky because of transition but what I am learning is that life running after Jesus is always full of abundant goodness. Even in transition. Even in foreign countries missing home and even at home missing foreign countries. I can’t get over the fact that this is my life. That my Gap J people are here for discipleship school. That I don’t have to do all long distance relationships anymore because I get to live and work with my friends. That my family and friends that are long distance are actually near in comparison to what they have been the last two years. That I can pick up the phone and call because I don’t have to find wifi. That I can go in my room and not talk to anyone because I have my own space. That I can connect with the Lord through corporate worship at my job or on the back porch at the house. 

All this to say, chase your dreams. Go where He tells you. If you aren’t sure, go until He says stop. It’s worth taking risks with Him. It’s worth getting out of comfort zones. It’s worth moving to new cities and taking jobs that don’t meet the standard of what America tells you that you should have.

That’s where the abundant life is.